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Oct. 19th, 2009

mic pic

some online test... not sure i agree....

Disorder Rating


Paranoid Personality Disorder: Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder: Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder: Moderate
Antisocial Personality Disorder: Low
Borderline Personality Disorder: Low
Histrionic Personality Disorder: Moderate
Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Moderate
Avoidant Personality Disorder: Low
Dependent Personality Disorder: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: High

Feb. 28th, 2009

mic pic

cockadoodle-doo-doo

The cock awakes to let you know..
Of all the seeds he's yet to sow

Morning greets you with its swollen face from night's abandon
"Never again!" a razor sharp pen scratches its memorandum

So you send away the servants
You cancel your appointments
And waste a perfect shopping day on diets and repentance

Eating, drinking penance
Knowing you're self-sentenced to
Crunching through dry coffins mocking yesterday's decadence

But the sun goes down, the beast comes out and all your corks are rolling on the floor

The moon swings in, the music swells and everybody's opting in for more

Out with the old
Back in with it, too
our smiles are all reruns
Our chats all reviews

As this night's champagne fountains spring up anew
The blazing night's climax enveloping you

Burning and smoking your dreams through the night

The ashes of morning are bleak in the light

When life brings on living and then daily death
The eggs of frivolity seem lacking in breadth

So how is the cock's daily crowing rebuilt?

It hasn't been deadened by drowning in guilt

Dec. 19th, 2008

mic pic

FAKE GAY.COM AD HEADLINES

made these up and posted them in the chatrooms

Me:HUNG BLACK TOP IN WESTERN ONTARIO LOOKING FOR TIGHT WET MEATPUPPETS TO SLAP CLOWN MAKEUP ON AND GET CRAZY

Me:TIGHT AND FIT ASIAN TOP LOOKING FOR FROTHY PLEASURE PITS TO DROP DEUCES IN MY FRESHLY SHAMPOOED HAIR

Me:FRESHLY SHAVEN ITALIAN TESTOSTERONE JUNKIE LOOKING FOR SOME HOT MUSCLES TO SLAM TOGETHER! MUST BE DUMB AND NOT LAUGH AT MY GRUNTING!

Me:HEAVILY SEQUINED OPERA QUEEN LOOKING FOR YOUNG BOYS TO WEAR VINYL AND DANCE ON MY PIANO. MUST HAVE GOOD BALANCE AND NO GAG REFLEX.

Me:DOUGHY SANTA LOOKALIKE LOOKING FOR BOUNCY-KNEE LADS TO TALK DOWN TO. MUST HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM AND LOW HANGERS.

Me:FREQUENTLY SWEATERED BOOKWORM LOOKING FOR CLEVER AND SOCIALLY AWKWARD PROFESSIONAL TO RAPE ME BEHIND THE LIBRARY. MUST LOVE INDIE ROCK AND LOW CALORIE TAINT SPREADS

Me:BADASS 19 YEAR OLD STREET URCHIN LOOKING FOR EFFEMINATE UNCLE FIGURE TO COOK FOR AND BEAT ME ON A REGULAR BASIS. MUST WEAR PANTIES AND KNOW HOW TO HANDLE DRUG OVERDOSES.

Me:OVERWEIGHT SPORTS FAN WITH GIANT CALVES LOOKING FOR PIZZA LOVING CUM JUNKIES WITH A FLAIR FOR REUPHOLSTRING AND INTERIOR DESIGN. MUST BE ABLE TO STAND CONSTANT BICKERING OVER MOVIE QUOTES AND LOVE BLOWJOBS AT THE DOLLAR THEATER.

Me:SPANDEX LOVING JAZZ AND TAP FANATIC LOOKING FOR VIRTUALLY COMATOSE PLEASURE HOLE TO INVADE AT MY LEISURE. MUST BE TOLERANT OF BROADWAY, IV'S AND LATEX.

Me:CONSTANTLY DRUNK COLLEGE FRAT BOY LOOKING FOR OPEN MINDED AMPUTEES TO DRESS UP LIKE FARM ANIMALS AND RAPE ME IN THE SHOWER ROOM AT SCHOOL. MUST BE 46.

Me:SASQUATCH IMPERSONATING MUSCLE BEAR LOOKING FOR FLEXIBLE AND SQUIRRELY FUCKPUPPETS TO USE AND ABUSE LIKE MOMMY'S BARBITURATES. MUST HAVE A VIRTUALLY UNQUENCHABLE NEED FOR DADDY TO LOVE THEM.

Me:VISUALLY REPULSIVE FASHIONLESS LOSER LOOKING FOR STUNNING JOCK TO INSULT ME AND SLAP ME AROUND. MUST BE OKAY WITH DOGS, PAT METHENY AND THE ODD LINE OF COKE. PLEASE, NO LOSERS.

Me:OVERWEIGHT CROSS DRESSING VINYL LOVER LOOKING FOR DOMINEERING BLUE COLLAR CHEERLEADER RAPISTS TO TALK DOWN TO. MUST BE INTO HOT PINK SPANDEX AND ONJ.

Me:BRUNETTE MENTALLY CHALLENGED KEVIN FEDERLINE LOOKALIKE LOOKING FOR EXTENDED RECTAL EXAM FANTASY ROLEPLAY. MUST BE COOL WITH MAKEUP, TECHNO AND THE OCCASIONAL SEIZURE.

Me:INCREDIBLY AWESOME SUPER HULK LOOKING FOR LAUGHABLY UNCOOL YET SAUCY PARTY-TWINKS TO TEND TO MY POOL AND LAWN. MUST NOT WEAR UNDERWEAR AND HAVE NO FRIENDS, FAMILY OR MORALS. WILL PROVIDE ALL FOOD, CLOTHING AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE.

Me:REALLY OLD WILFORD BRIMLEY LOOKALIKE LOOKING FOR SWEATY CONSTRUCTION WORKER TYPES TO PLEASURE IN MY LEATHER DUNGEON. MUST HAVE HIGH THRESHOLD FOR PAIN, MOUSTACHE-TICKLES AND BARBRA STREISAND.

Me:RAWRR!! BUTTERY BEAR DADDY LOOKING FOR SPINELESS BOYS WITH HAIRY CHESTS AND NO PERSONAL IDENTITY. MUST BE WILLING TO BE MOLDED TO MY SPECIFICATIONS AND ENGAGE IN FOOD-RELATED OVEREATING FANTASY ROLEPLAY.

Me:RENEGADE CRIME-FIGHTING DRAG QUEEN LOOKING FOR STARSTRUCK GLITTERBOIS TO AID IN MY MAGICAL QUEST TO SAVE CHRISTMAS. MUST BE INTO LOTS OF RUNNING IN HIGH HEELS AND DOING LINES OF COKE IN MY HONDA.

Me:OVERWEIGHT MIDDLE-AGED PROM QUEEN WANNABE LOOKING FOR YOUNG TANNED JOCK FOR HIGH SCHOOL DANCE FANTASY ROLEPLAY. MUST BE INTO CROSS-DRESSING, CONSTANT CRYING AND "WONDERFUL TONIGHT" PLAYED ON A LOOP ALL NIGHT LONG.

Me:GREASY ONE-BALLED AUTO MECHANIC WITH TOURETTE'S SYNDROME LOOKING FOR AMBITIOUS DRUG DEALER TYPES FOR HOT CONVENIENCE STORE PARKING LOT ACTION. MUST BE VERY SMALL (I HAVE A HONDA) AND ABLE TO WITHSTAND HOURS OF WATCHING ME STRUGGLE TO ATTAIN AN ERECTION.

Me:MOUSY HIP-HOP LOVING WHITE BOY IN GIANT PANTS LOOKING FOR PEAR-SHAPED FATHER FIGURE TO TALK DOWN TO HIM. MUST WEAR A GOLD-COLORED WATCH BAND, SMELL LIKE AQUA NET OR OLD SPICE AND THINK HE'S ALWAYS RIGHT. PLEASE, NO COLLEGE GRADUATES OR NON-VIOLENT SISSIES.

Me:SPANDEX CLAD CRACKHEAD GYM RAT LOOKING FOR ASIAN MARTIAL ARTS EXPERT TO ASSIST IN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT. MUST BE COOL WITH CONSTANT SINGING OF THEME SONGS FROM JAPANESE CARTOONS AND CROTCHLESS NINJA OUTFITS.

Me:MULLETED BARBIE AND ELVIS FANATIC LOOKING FOR HOT DIRTY MEN IN A-SHIRTS TO ADMIRE MY GUN COLLECTION WITH. MUST NOT AVOID TRANS-FATS, USE HAIR PRODUCTS OR SMELL LIKE CITY FOLK. PLEASE KEEP GOOD GRAMMAR TO A MINIMUM.

Me:OUT-OF-SHAPE INTERNET ADDICT WITH 3 NEGLECTED CATS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO WATCH DOWNLOADED EPISODES OF FAMILY GUY WITH. PLEASE, NO ACTIVE SPORTY TYPES. MUST BE COOL WITH MY CONSTANT USE OF MARIJUANA AND COMPULSIVE EMAIL CHECKING.

Me:DISEASE RAVAGED BALDING BOG QUEEN LOOKING FOR SANE AND WASHED SUBURB HUSBANDS TO TAKE ME OUT OF HERE AND MAKE EVERYTHING ALL BETTER AGAIN. MUST BE CARING, SELFLESS AND HAVE THE PATIENCE OF A DEAD NUN. MUST BE ABLE TO MASSAGE, COMFORT AND TALK POLICE OUT OF PRESSING CHARGES.

Me:CREEPY AUNT-ESQUE ANDROGYNOUS BIG-NOSED HIV POSITIVE PARTY BOTTOM/CABLE ACCESS TALK SHOW HOST LOOKING FOR KIDDY POOL POOP PIGS INTO PSYCHADELICS AND VICTORIAN CORSETRY. MUST BE OKAY WITH SMALL YAPPY DOGS AND NOSY CRACKHEAD NEIGHBORS POPPING IN AT ALL HOURS.

Me:PROFESSIONAL PROSTATE IMPERSONATOR/PIZZA VENDOR LOOKING FOR SLIMY GUTTER SLUTS TO CUDDLE, LAUGH AND SPLOSH WITH. MUST BE INTO EATING PORK AND TALKING SHIT ON THE FAGS ON GAY.COM.

Me:CRAPTACULOUS POPCORN PUSSYFART PREACHER'S SON LOOKING FOR CRISCO-LUBED BACKSEAT HERESY WITH HOT WHITE-COLLAR GIFT BASKET LOVING GOLDEN GIRL WANNABE. MUST BE INTO BIBLE HUMPING AND FAPPING TO MARY GRACE AND DR. LAURA RERUNS.

Dec. 1st, 2008

city, world, outside

Pavlov's Couch Potato

I fucking hate laugh tracks

Nov. 24th, 2008

spiral

take that, father fuckface

so, i just had this dream i was watching a basketball game at a catholic high school. it was the seniors vs. the freshmen.

the freshman team was terrible.

the entire freshman team was blaming its poor performance on the gay black kid and the girl on their team.

this was a special game with special rules. every time a team gets a basket, the coach (a priest) asks the scorer a trivia question about basketball. if they get it right, the score from their last basket is doubled. if wrong, the points are deducted.

the current list of questions was: name an offense.

the gay kid FINALLY makes a basket but doesn't know any offenses. he answers, "umm... bad passing?"

everyone laughs at him, especially the coach who makes quite a show of himself.

so the girl gets mad and aggressively gets control of the ball and makes a basket.

her answer: "I have such contempt for you, father. is that an offense?"

i remember running out of the bleachers and giving her a big hug right before waking up

Nov. 3rd, 2008

MAKEUP

Dry Hill (a short story)

There is a hill in the countryside where no one goes anymore.

No one goes... but there is someone who stays there.

In the side of the hill, covered in straw and dry bristly grass, is a rickety wooden door that squeaks when it is opened.

But no one has opened this door in a long, long time.

If one WERE to venture near this old door with the round top and the faded red window shutters, they would hear the faint sound of breathing.

Only, they wouldn't know it was breath.

One might mistake it for the wind whistling through the door cracks or the sound of a chair being slowly dragged across a dirt floor.

This grizzled, chalky breath belongs to a very lonely old spirit. Her name is Herga and she is very wise, but very afraid. She lives off of rainwater and bits of cheese and bread stolen from a nearby farmhouse for her by 2 very dear voles.

She dreams of when she was young and she and her best friend, Lavender, would make honey-oat cakes and nettle tea and give each other abortions with rusty tent stakes and barbed wire. Those were good days, when Jesus really hated babies and babies hated him right back double!

Now, Herga votes republican because she's sick of being a murderer.

Also, because Jesus Christ was a Neo-Con who lived off of tax money.

And she fuckin hates hippies.

The End

Oct. 30th, 2008

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BACK IN MICHIGAN IN NOVEMBER

i'll be back in Michigan the weekend of Nov 15

saturday night is already booked.

i'm flying in friday afternoon

i'm flying back to texas monday afternoon

Oct. 21st, 2008

city, world, outside

MICHIGAN

we'll be flying into michigan thursday afternoon!!!

EDIT: OUR FRIDAY NIGHT IS BOOKED

Oct. 14th, 2008

city, world, outside

MAMA VOTED FOR OBAMA

http://www.littledemocrats.net/


i am not making this shit up


a kids' book

about voting for obama...

....

i'm speechless...

Oct. 4th, 2008

spiral

worn

you excite me
but even the devil is intimidating when you first meet him
but after a few years of sinking into his heart
he's as soft and familiar as a childhood pillow

in the old days they didn't marry for love
just to increase what you already had
now it ain't so crazy
to follow your heart

and when hearts fuse together
to tear them apart
is akin to a murder
open wounds heal slowly
but it's as imminent as an ice age

nothing lasts forever
not your baby
not your shiny new car
nothing lasts forever
everything dies
at least that's how it's been so far

and when hearts fuse together
to tear them apart
is akin to a murder
open wounds heal slowly
but it's as imminent as moonlight

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